All better? Good. The point of that was simple: the entire premise of these Video Music Awards is flawed. Not because the music video isn't a valuable form of entertainment (every year we get about a dozen or so videos that convince me to keep enduring the awful ones), but because they are being aired on a network that has exactly 0 hours per week dedicated to playing music videos (they do, however, have at least two shows that glorify people who willingly give themselves nicknames like "JWoww," "The Situation," and "Snooki"). Throw in the fact that Youtube has basically ended the era of the music video as a revenue stream for an artist, and you begin to understand the the VMAs are essentially a glorified press event for the "in" artists of the year. Still, there's something very endearing about an artist that can craft a music video that captures a person's full, undivided attention, especially in this day and age. With that, let's take a look at what we're working with this year.
Most "Share-Worthy" Video
One Direction- "What Makes You Beautiful"
Justin Bieber- "Boyfriend"
Beyonce- "Countdown"
Carly Rae Jepson- "Call Me Maybe"
Gotye- "Somebody that I Used to Know"
The Story: Honestly, I have no idea what this award is for. Apparently, the video in this category that gets the most "shares" (tweets, Facebook statuses, etc.) will be the winner. Though fan voting decides most of the awards, it seems this one is the award that will be almost completely decided by the fans of the artists. One Direction are this year's big teen sensation, but there's always Bieber's Beliebers, and it cannot be overstated how big a hit "Call Me Maybe" was.
The Winner: I'll take the heartthrobs in a landslide. They're winning as of my writing this, and the margin seems to be growing. And just like that, One Direction have won more VMAs than fellow boy band The Wanted.
Best Pop Video
fun.- "We are Young (feat. Janelle Monae)"
Justin Bieber- "Boyfriend"
Maroon 5- "Payphone (feat. Wiz Khalifa)"
One Direction- "What Makes You Beautiful"
Rihanna- "We Found Love (feat. Calvin Harris)"
The Story: Hey, look at that: another Bieber nomination! While I've despised him for what feels like a decade (it's probably just jealousy), I will admit Bieber's done some serious maturing over the last 18 months or so. So much, in fact, that I wouldn't mind seeing him sweep the awards this year. But my heart belongs to fun., and the unexpected breakout they scored with "We are Young" and its raucous video in slow-motion was one of the best this year.
The Winner: Nate Ruess: 1, Justin Bieber: 0. "We are Young" takes home Best Pop Video.
Best Rock Video
The Black Keys- "Lonely Boy"
Coldplay- "Paradise"
Imagine Dragons- "It's Time"
Jack White- "Sixteen Saltines"
Linkin Park- "Burn it Down"
The Story: There was a time where a mere nomination in the Best Rock Video category would guarantee a Linkin Park victory. That time has long since passed. The same can be said for Jack White and Coldplay, whose releases last year were largely overlooked despite past success in the Top 40. That leaves the latest band to inherent the "Last Hope for Rock and Roll" title, and one of the worst band names I've ever heard. I'll let you figure out which is which.
The Winner: The Black Keys. Seriously, what were the band names Imagine Dragons didn't pick when they were starting out? Did they come up with worse names that that? Is that even possible? Anyway, the "Lonely Boy" video was a viral smash, and the best video rock music has to offer this year. (Side note: I have no idea why fun. wasn't nominated in this category, they would have won it easily if "We are Young" or "Some Nights" was nominated.)
Best Hip-Hop Video
Childish Gambino- "Heartbeat"
Drake- "HYFR (feat. Lil Wayne)"
Kanye West- "Mercy (feat. Big Sean, Pusha T, and 2 Chainz)"
Nicki Minaj- "Beez in the Trap (feat. 2 Chainz)"
The Throne- "Paris"
The Story: 2 Chainz is a ridiculous human being, but he must be doing something right. Thanks to Kanye West adding him to the GOOD Music roster, he's now the hottest up-and-coming rapper in the game and, along with West, has a 40% chance to win a VMA for a song he's featured on. Drake and Childish Gambino somehow found their way onto this list, but they won't be factors. "Mercy" has the distinct advantage of being released earlier this summer, and may be fresh enough in the minds of voters to steal the award. Nicki Minaj has also had a big year, and it may be her time after losing the Best New Artist award last year.
The Winner: There are a lot of rappers looking to get to the top, but unfortunately for them, The Throne is occupied, and "Paris" was a cultural phenomenon this year. The video, which features a trippy presentation of Kanye and Jay-Z performing the song live, is innovative and loud, and none of the other videos in this category come close to doing that.
Best Female Video
Beyonce- "Love on Top"
Katy Perry- "Part of Me"
Nicki Minaj- "Starships"
Rihanna- "We Found Love (feat. Calvin Harris)"
Selena Gomez and the Scene- "Love You Like a Love Song"
The Story: It was really nice of MTV to give Bieber's girlfriend Selena Gomez a throwaway nomination so people can stop asking "What song does she sing?" when they show her next to Justin on-air. She won't win, but it's a cute gesture. Beyonce's second video to be nominated this year was overshadowed by the birth of her daughter Blue Ivy, and her lack of a Moonman (seriously, that's what the award is) will reflect that. Nicki Minaj went from hip-hop buzz artist to bonifide pop star in 2012, and "Starships" is her assertion of that, and one of the anthems of this past summer. You can never count out Katy Perry, who led the field in Moonmen last year, either.
The Winner: I want to pick "We Found Love" here, because it's the only Rihanna song I've liked since "Umbrella" (yes, it's been that long since she's done a song that sounded different from all her others), but I think this is where Nicki breaks through and wins. "Starships" is nothing more than a straight-up pop banger, and the video reflects that. Simple, flashy, and loud, the video is actually a great reflection of the artist who sings it.
Best Male Video
Chris Brown- "Turn up the Music"
Drake- "Take Care (feat. Rihanna)"
Frank Ocean- "Swim Good"
Justin Bieber- "Boyfriend"
Usher- "Climax"
The Story: Well, this is awkward. Chris Brown was arrested for his violence against Rihanna, and now that he's on the road to forgiveness, he can't even escape her in the Best Male Video category. What's worse, Rihanna's teamed up with Drake, the man Brown apparently fought (and lost) with at a night club over, you guessed it, Rihanna. It's still an uphill battle you're fighting, Breezy. Bieber's nominated again, which makes him the odds-on favorite, which is a little awkward considering he's going up against his mentor, Usher. Frank Ocean's there, too, but if he wins an award Thursday night, it won't be this one.
The Winner: It's a copout pick, but I'm taking the Biebs. It's too difficult to pick against him at these things, and I've already done it twice, so it'd be wise to take him here and hopefully cut my losses.
Best Electronic Dance Music Video
Avicii- "Levels"
Calvin Harris- "Feel so Close"
Duck Sauce- "Big Bad Wolf"
Martin Solvieg- "The Night Out"
Skrillex- "First of the Year (Equinox)"
The Story: This is what it's come to. The EDM movement is now so inavoidable, it has its own VMA category. The heavy hitters here are Avicii and Sonny Moore, former lead singer of From First to Last (that never gets old). Martin Solvieg scored a big hit last year with "Hello," but "The Night Out" wasn't anywhere near as successful, so he's a non-factor. Calvin Harris is a dark horse, and Duck Sauce is too, I guess, but in the end, there's only one way this can go.
The Winner: "Levels" is too massive a hit to not be recognized by at least one award show. You can argue that Avicii's smash is what brought the EDM movement to the forefront of music this year, for better or worse, so it's time that he get his due. Plus, it's hard for me to pick Skrillex when this video exists. Yep, that's Skrillex singing those lyrics. Scary monsters, indeed.
Best Video with a Message
Demi Lovato- "Skyscraper"
Gym Class Heroes- "The Fighter (feat. Ryan Tedder)"
Kelly Clarkson- "Dark Side"
K'Naan- "Is Anybody Out There? (feat. Nelly Furtado)"
Lil Wayne- "How to Love"
Rise Against- "Ballad of Hollis Brown"
The Story: At this point, MTV needs to just call this the Rise Against Award. This is the second year that the Best Video with a Message category has existed, and Rise Against has had a video nominated both years (last year was for their monumental effort in conjunction with the It Gets Better campaign for their song "Make It Stop (September's Children)"). This year features a few songs from artists that have almost no message to their music at all, namely Lil Wayne and Gym Class Heroes. K'Naan's entry is a peculiar but welcome one, and Kelly Clarkson's entry is interesting as well, and the presence of all these stars puts Rise Against off the map for an award they should have won last year (but lost to Lady Gaga).
The Winner: After battling self-harm, anorexia, and countless other issues, no one deserves this award more than Demi Lovato. "Skyscraper" was her most important song of her career, and she should be rewarded for her courage and perseverance.
Best New Artist
Carly Rae Jepsen- "Call Me Maybe"
Frank Ocean- "Swim Good"
fun.- "We are Young (feat. Janelle Monae)"
One Direction- "What Makes You Beautiful"
The Wanted- "Glad You Came"
The Story: If you're as big a fan of Some Nights as we are at Keep Calm, you're pulling hard for fun. to take home as many awards as they can, including the always interesting Best New Artist award. That being said, the band have their work cut out for them here. The Wanted and One Direction seem to be the new generation's band boy craze, and those kinds of fans are the kind that can tilt the voting scale. Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe" is the one song that may have been bigger than "We are Young" this year, and stands a great chance. Plus, Frank Ocean's very public reveal of his sexuality has made him a lightningrod for conversation this year, and after fellow Odd Future member Tyler, the Creator stole Best New Artist last year, can OF go back-to-back years causing chaos at the polls?
The Winner: I'm going to let personal bias take over here and go with fun. in a close race over Carly Rae, which would break their tie with the field and make them the leading Moonman winners thus far.
Video of the Year
Drake- "Take Care (feat. Rihanna)"
Gotye- "Somebody that I Used to Know (feat. Kimbra)"
Katy Perry- "Wide Awake"
MIA- "Bad Girls"
Rihanna- "We Found Love (feat. Calvin Harris)"
The Story: To make things even worse for Chris Brown this year (as if being convicted of domestic abuse can get any worse), Rihanna has a 2 in 5 chance to win Video of the Year. While "Take Care" and "We Found Love" didn't seem to have the kind of buzz you'd expect to have a Video of the Year, neither did MIA, who I'm honestly shocked to see on this list. Katy Perry's second song nominated is a lot like "Part of Me" in that they seem like they were both taken from her diary after Russell Brand filed for divorce from their marraige, and like I said earlier, it's hard to count her out of these things. This is another award I'm surprise fun. wasn't nominated for, but we'll have to make do with these five.
The Winner: Gotye should win this, and there isn't really an argument for any of the other videos he's up against. "Somebody that I Used to Know" is the odds-on favorite for the biggest surprise hit of the year in 2012, and the video's stunning simplicity (and nakedness!) make it a perfect compliment to the creative masterpiece that the song is. In a year where no one will dominate the awards, why can't Gotye rise above Drake, Katy, and Rihanna?
I know this seems trivial to do, but the VMAs are usually good for a few moments you can chat about with your friends over coffee the next morning, the performances are usually pretty good, and you never know what Kanye might do if he shows up. Plus, to quote fun.'s "Some Nights":
"...you wouldn't believe, the most amazing things, they can come from some terrible nights."
Happy watching, and feel free to criticize my picks in the comments!
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